


Talk to Me

by Alliekay43



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Bucky Barnes Feels, Bucky Barnes Needs a Hug, Fluff and Angst, Hurt Tony Stark, M/M, Protective Bucky Barnes, Song Lyrics, Songfic, Tony Feels, Tony Needs a Hug, Tony Stark Has A Heart, tony stark x bucky barnes - Freeform, winteriron
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-25
Updated: 2019-01-25
Packaged: 2019-10-15 23:07:22
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,046
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17538056
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Alliekay43/pseuds/Alliekay43
Summary: Based on the song Talk to Me by CavetownTony needs someone to talk to every once in awhile





	Talk to Me

_You don't have to be a hero to save the world_

_It doesn't make you a narcissist to love yourself_

_It feels like nothing is easy it'll never be_

_That's alright, let it out, talk to me_

Tony let out a shaky breath as he slumped against his workbench. He could try his hardest to do good, to _be_ good, but nothing would ever erase his past of destruction and death. He could never forget it, either, the news certainly would never let him forget. He was tired of being crucified for everything. The things he did do and the things he didn’t do, it was always his fault. Today he wasn’t fast enough, an innocent life was lost. Another family, torn apart because he wasn’t good enough. Cap had told him to evacuate the building sooner, but Clint needed evac off the roof of the same building that was half collapsed already and going down faster than he could run. Tony, of course, caught him and dropped him off on the ground safely. He looped back around to get the rest of the civilians out of the top floor. He got all but one. And the headlines read “ **_Ironman left man for dead_ ** ” and “ **_Tony Stark heartless in the face of destruction_ **”. Instead of going to medical to get his ribs tapped and head checked out, he went straight to the lab to watch the news. It didn’t matter that he saved over 15 people from the building or that he blasted that weeks monster in the face or stayed as long as he could to help pick up the pieces or that he’s giving thousands of dollars towards rebuilding the city and individual funds for people who lost their property or loved ones. Someone was dead because of him.

“Jarvis, find out who it was that was lost in the building and make sure all funeral expenses are covered.”

“Of course, sir.”

The lab doors slid open silently. Tony was aware that someone came in and sat next to him, he just didn’t bother looking at who it was.

“You should go to medical, solnyshko.” Bucky, of course.

“I should have saved him.” Bucky didn’t say anything else, just held him until his voice was raw from screaming and sobbing.

_You don't have to be a prodigy to be unique_

_You don't have to know what to say or what to think_

_You don't have to be anybody you can never be_

_That's alright, let it out, talk to me_

Tony stumbled, slightly, into the communal kitchen clutching his favorite Star Wars mug after 48 straight hours spent in the lab upgrading the teams equipment and getting back-logged work for SI done. He was the equivalent of a zombie at this point. Eyes blurring slightly, shaky legs and the pounding headache that usually accompany these binges. He went right to the coffee pot to pour himself some sweet, sweet caffeine.

“Stark, are you finished with those stun arrows yet?” Clint dropped down from the top of the fridge effectively scaring Tony so bad that the boiling hot coffee sloshed over his hand.

“Jesus! Clint you’re going to kill me one of these days.” Tony hissed as he wiped his burnt hand on his shirt.

Clint shrugged. “Arrows?” Tony shook his head, he still hasn’t managed to get the voltage correct.

“I thought you were some super genius and you can’t figure out these arrows?”

Did Tony say that out loud? Maybe he isn’t as recovered from that concussion as he thought if he’s speaking without realizing it. He also might need sleep soon. Clint snorted.

“I don’t think you can blame a concussion for you not thinking before you speak. That’s just a Stark thing, no filter.” Tony, for once, had nothing to say. So he just blinked at Clint and then put his mug in the sink. He’ll get coffee somewhere else. He turned to flee the kitchen with a heavy feeling in his chest. But before he could step out completely he stopped and said:

“Don’t worry, Birdbrain, I’ll get your arrows finished.”

He stepped back into the elevator to go back down to the lab.

“Sir, I would recommend that you sleep for at least 10 hours, not go back to the lab.”

“You heard Legolas, arrows, J. To the lab.” Jarvis didn’t respond other than to start the elevator down. Tony let out a sigh, in reality nothing sounded better than face planting into his bed. Who needs sleep when your team needs gear to keep them safe? Not Tony, that's for sure. Howard Stark only cared about himself, a bottle of scotch, and Captain America. Tony cares about a hell of a lot more than that and he'll be damned if he’ll let sleep drag him down. He stood up a little straighter and rolled his shoulders. He could do this, arrows and then sleep. Tony stepped back into the lab and got to work.

Turns out, he cannot do this. He has been shocked and burnt more times in the last hour than he has in the last month alone. With a frustrated growl he swiped the contents off the desk onto the floor. Taking in the state of his red and raw hands, he clenched them into fists. The pain made him focus, clearing the haziness in his mind. He jumped violently when hands connected with his shoulders.

“Shh. I think it’s time you get up to bed.” Tony’s anxiety lessened upon hearing Bucky’s voice and almost completely vanished when he started to rub circles into the hard knots within Tony’s shoulders. He didn’t register that they were walking out of the lab until the doors opened. Tony jerked out of Bucky’s hold.

“Sorry, Bucko, I have work to do.” Tony gave him a forced smile and he couldn’t quite name the emotion that came over Bucky’s face. Almost disappointment, but sadder. That’s okay, Tony knew he was a disappointment.

“Tony, you’ve been up almost 40 hours straight. You need sleep, not to mention medical attention.”

Tony couldn’t meet his gaze, instead looking at the mess in his lab. The blueprints for Clint’s arrows and their failed prototypes littered on the floor.

“Clint needs arrows.” It was said without any malice, just defeat. This shouldn’t be so hard, he was a genius for fucks sake.

“Tony,” Bucky waited until the inventor looked at him, “it’s hard because you need sleep and food. Clint’s arrows can wait until you’ve slept, gotten food, and your hands looked at. And if he says anything about it, I’ll kick his ass. C’mon, solnyshko, let me take care of you.”

_Anxiety tossing turning in your sleep_

_Even if you run away you still see them in your dreams_

_It's so dark tonight but you'll survive certainly_

_It's alright, come inside, and talk to me_

Tony slept for exactly four hours and 17 minutes. He woke up with a scream dying on his lips and sweat soaking through his shirt. Apparently, even sleep deprived, his mind was still a cruel bastard. His shirt felt like a wet noose slowly making its way up to his neck. He could feel his ridiculously soft sheets beneath him, but his mind was screaming that he was on rocky and hard ground. Tony tumbled out of the bed onto the floor while gasping for breath. He couldn’t hear Jarvis telling him where he was, what time it was or the weather outside. All he could hear were bombs going off and his harsh breathing. Tony clawed off his shirt, not registering that his hands were wrapped and he tapped the arc reactor rapidly as the walls of his room closed in on him.

_We can talk here on the floor_

_On the phone, if you prefer_

_I'll be here until you're okay_

Jarvis must’ve alerted Bucky to Tony’s panic attack because he was suddenly there grabbing his hands gently.

“Tony, hey, it’s alright. Can you try to match my breathing? In and out.” Bucky placed both of Tony’s hands on his chest, exaggerating his breathing in an attempt to calm Tony’s own rapid breathing. It took awhile, but eventually Tony sagged and calmed down. Bucky moved so he could pull Tony into his lap.

“Please don’t leave.”

“Not unless you want me to, doll.”  

_Let your words release your pain_

_You and I will share the weight_

_Growing stronger day by day_

“I’m sorry.” Bucky lowered the book he was reading to peer up at Tony.

“What?”

“I’m sorry.” Tony repeated with a little exasperation leaking into his voice.

“Okay, I’ll bite. What for, solnyshko?” Tony started tapping the arc reactor casing gently.

“Being a mess.” Bucky arched an eyebrow and reached forward to snag one of Tony’s wrists to pull him down into his lap.

“I’m not sure if you’ve noticed, doll, but you’re talking to a man who's had his brains scrambled for the last 70 years.” Tony huffed and looked away.

“But you handle it so well.” Bucky snorted

“I don’t, not really. Sometimes I wake up still feeling like the Asset.”

“Sometimes I wake up feeling like I’m still hooked up to a car battery.” Tony leaned on Bucky’s chest and Bucky held him closer.

“Looks like we both have burdens to bare. Not alone, though. Not anymore.”

_It's so dark outside tonight_

_Build a fire warm and bright_

_And the wind it howls and bites_

_Bite it back with all your might_

Bucky found Tony on the roof. It was the dead of night and slightly chilly and why on earth was Tony even out here?

“I hate it, you know?” Tony’s voice made Bucky’s steps falter. After a moment's hesitation Bucky walked the distance to Tony and sat down next to the man who hadn’t looked at him once.

“I hate that I can never take back all of the things I did. I was an awful person, still might be an awful person. But I try, yeah? I give pieces of myself away in hopes that that will rectify the things I’ve done. But I’ve realized that don’t have anything left, nothing good enough anyways, and I’m just so damn tired.” Bucky took a moment to look at Tony, not that he hadn’t already committed this man to his memory, but he did see how tired he was. Dark circles under his eyes, slumped shoulders, glazed far off stare, and he was so pale. When Bucky spoke he made sure his voice was soft, but firm.

“You’ll never run out of pieces, your body will give them back to you without your consent to keep on giving. Other people will throw them at you, damaged and unclean and then it will be your job to fix them up to give them away again.” Tony’s eyes finally drifted to look at Bucky. “Sometimes, you'll pick up the fallen and forgotten pieces of yourself and place them next to your heart to never forget who and what they were given to and you will never give those pieces away again. There is no such thing as giving away too many pieces of yourself, you’ll still have them, they may be broken and dirty and old but they are still yours and they are still good enough.” Tony’s tears were silent as he nodded.

“You sound so sure.” Bucky looked away, a sad smile dancing on his lips.

“Yeah, I’m still picking up and polishing off my own pieces.” Tony’s hand moved to rest on top of his and they sat in silence.

_Anxiety tossing turning in your sleep_

_Even if you run away you still see them in your dreams_

_It's so dark tonight_

_It looks nice, fall asleep_

_It's alright, come inside, and talk to me_

“Tony, come to bed, doll.”

And for once, Tony didn’t worry about any nightmares plaguing him in his sleep. He didn’t worry about all the work he still had to do. He didn’t have to worry about his demons clawing their way up from his personal hell when Bucky was there to help him keep them at bay. Tony shut down his work and got up to follow the love of his life to bed.


End file.
